The thing you need to do....

Don't stop. Everyday keep going. Don't stop your journey. You got this. We believe in you....now believe in yourself....

Monday...after Thanksgiving

Well Thanksgiving came and left like a thief in the night leaving some additional pounds. So this Monday we are going back at it harder than ever. 

If your scale shows some extra pounds after this weekend don't be discouraged. We are HUMAN and Hungry. This just mean we got to push harder but that our goal will met. 

Let's get some extra steps in this week. Drink our water. Eat clean. And most important, protect your mental health.

#Food4Thought 

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

Happy Thanksgiving

I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and to thank you for your support. We are about to start this Holiday season with our goals in mind and finish stronger than before. 

Thank you again for your support and I will post more and give you all work out tips as well. 

#Food4Thought

MANIFEST

MANIFEST WORK 

BE A BETTER YOU EVERYDAY.

UCA Homecoming 2021

Well my college UCA had it's Homecoming and yes I showed out some. I wanted to show my progress to those who supported me and for those who didn't. For my family and friends who fought this war with me. For those who feel that they can't not do it. And most importantly, for MYSELF.

I felt more motivated to lose more and get more define for next year. I want to help more people with overcoming their demons. I want to encourage more people to go to therapy especially in the Black community. This weekend just gave me more fuel ⛽ for the fire. 

#Food4Thought

Don't stop...

Manifest

You can do this...

With God anything is POSSIBLE....

Homecoming preview....

Homecoming was this weekend and I got a story to tell..

New Blog - Work in Progress

Hello everyone. I am working on some Blogs and videos. I just want to check in and tell you don't stop. Keep going. Every day is an opportunity to be great. 

#MyLastFatHomeComing

#Food4Thought

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

You are good ENOUGH....

Progress Report

Just posting my progress. Post yours in the comments.... BTW, I'm working on a long blog post for next week. 

Don't Stop

This is a short but sweet post. 

Don't stop doing what is best for you. Learn to love yourself. Flaws and all. 

Everyday try to be a better person than yesterday.

Take it one day at a time...

Manifest Manifest Manifest

And again...

DON'T STOP 🛑

Greedy

Tell me when you're ready

I'll be there when you're ready for me

You're just a queen on a king bed

I can be your throne for the evening

Hit me up and I'll pick you up

I love how you're versatile

I love the way you switch your positions up

First, one leg in the sky now they're both on a ride

You gotta come through

Like that time in Toronto (jeez)

Feeling like I'm touching on you when I'm not around

Girl, it's something like voodoo (yeah)

Can't even compare that body to nobody else

They don't do it like you do, you do

what you want

(You know) what you need from me

(You know) it's all about you

(You know) it's your turn to be

Greedy, greedy, greedy

It's okay to be

Greedy, greedy, greedy

(Greedy)

dvsn - Greedy 

I know you are thinking, why did Tristan titled this entry as greedy if he is about losing weight. The GREEDY I am talking about has nothing to do with physical food. However, you need to be extremely GREEDY when it comes to Soul Food. Healing, manifesting, setting boundaries, loving yourself, mental health are the meals on the menu that you will need be GREEDY about. 

Nutritionists states that we need a balance meal everyday for our bodies. But why doesn't we do this for Soul Food. Side dishes of accountability, meditation, self reflection,  and balance are great for your soul as well. So being GREEDY with those side dishes. Sit down at your kitchen table and take your time with this meal. Make sure when you leave the table you are full on SOUL FOOD. everyday try and different meal to get fulfil different areas of your Soul that needs nutrition. 

In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with being GREEDY for the right reasons. Sometimes we need to focus on ourselves. We need to intake all the positive vibes we can in order to digest the negative out of our body, mind and soul. So sit down at your table and be GREEDY. 

#Food4Thought

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME

DONT STOP 

C*****

Change can be scary.  Change can be very difficult to do. 

However....CHANGE is needed.

Recently I decided to make a major change. I cut my dreads. 13 years of my life were detached by the blades of scissors. I felt energy releasing from me with every. Some anxiety and doubts went away. I felt a fresh start was needed so a change had to be made. New energy...

Don't be afraid of change. Especially when you know it is needed. Just embrace the change and know it is for the best for YOU!!!

#FoodForThought

MANIFEST

POSITIVE ENERGY

ONE DAY AT A TIME .... DON'T STOP 🛑

She see money all around me

I look like I'm the man, yeah

But I was down and out like last week

Tell me where have you been?

You came out of hiding, girl

Don't act like I'm your man

You just a fan, you don't hold rank

Don't hold no rank

GoldLink - Crew

I apologize...

Alot of times we tend to focus on the hurt that someone done to us. However we never reflect on the pain we have cause others. Have you ever thought about how you could have hurt someone with your words, actions, text message and etc. It might not have been intentional but they still felt that hurt.

Learn to apologize and take responsibility of the pain you cause the individual. Even if they don't feel like you are being genuine still do it. At the end of the day, this apology is you taking ACCOUNTABILITY of your actions.

#Food4Thought

MANIFEST YOUR DREAMS AND GOALS

Take it one day at a time

Try to be a better person than you was yesterday

Love your flaws because they are a part of you that makes you...YOU

Progress report..

Good day people. This is just a progress post. I'm down 90 inches on my body well 89.something so I am rounding it up 😂😂😂

This is for those who need some inspiration to keep going. This are measurements from this past Thursday (9/9/21).

Take it one day at time....you got this.

#Food4Thought

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

One day at a time.....

Let's Talk...

Sometimes the hardest conversation to have is the one with yourself. I recently had to have a heart to heart conversation about myself. Self doubt started to bring his presence around.

I felt like I was failing (I know right) with this weight loss journey. I gain ten pounds (due to fluid retention) and I felt terrible about it.  I had to CHECK MYSELF. I had to tell myself Tristan, you loss over 200 pounds and you are sad about ten.

Sometimes you got to focus in the positive because they usually out weigh the negative.

#Food4Thought

MANIFEST

LOVE YOUSELF

ONE DAY AT A TIME

Shoe Strings

You don't need no other body

You don't need no other body

Only you fi hold my body

Only you fi hold my body

You don't need no other body

WhizKid - Essence

The simple task of tying my shoe was difficult. Can you imagine a grow ass man having trouble tying his shoes. Not being able to reach your shoe strings. Feeling like you are about to faint when you bend over.  And when you do tie them, the strings are tied to the side.  But now...I'm tying everything with the weight loss. 😂😂😂 

Being 500 plus made simple tasks difficult to do. Which leads to depression and losing hope in life. Feeling imprisoned in your own body... I was in solitary confinement for years. Wearing a mask that was heavy to carry.  Ashamed that my grown could not tie my own shoe. So now you see why tying my shoe is a big deal for me. That task was a key to open up my cell....

#Food4Thought 

Find the keys to your imprisonment. We all have things we are insecure about. Don't allow those insecurities to keep you locked out your potential. Manifest and believe in you. 

YOU

Today is the day. Today is the day to face your fears. Today is the day to get over your insecurities. Today is the day to start your journey of loving you. The real you. The you that is holding you back. The you that is has been hurt. Cheated on. Let down. Lied on. Over looked. Not heard....yeah that

You

Once you learn to love yourself....nobody can your past, insecurities, fears and hurts against you. So what is stopping you now....

How I adore our love would be so true

I just wish you knew

I'd be all yours if my mind didn't wander, I've got scars

From a life before you

Please don't think I'm insecure

I just can't trust no one else

Please don't think I'm insecure

I just feel safe by myself

Brent Faiyaz - Insecure

#FoodForThought

Manifest your season. Don't stop walking. Take it one day at time. And again MANIFEST...

Cupcakes

This will a short and sweet entry....(like cupcakes)

Don't stop trying to be the best version of YOU. Keep up the hard work. Keep taking steps no matter how smaller or big towards your goals. Love you for being YOU.  Don't allow anyone to silence your voice. Your voice matter. YOU MATTER.

I want the best you all. And I know you can smash your goals so don't stop.

#For4Thought

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

Eyes to the Sky

Do you know what makes this world go around?

Around

Do you know what makes this world go around?

Around

Think it through, what it means to you

And everything you do don't affect just you, oh

I can't help but feel like I don't give a fuck

But just take this shit and blow it up

It's no wonder I feel stuck

Fuck what sent you aim, would you claim?

We all come from the same

And I don't know if it'll change

Do you know what makes this world go around?

Around

Do you know what makes this world go around?

Around

Brent Faiyaz - Skyline

I was watching one of Les Brown's motivation videos on YouTube and he said this... If you fall make sure you fall on your back because if you can see the sky you can get up.

I was like Damn...that hit home. I have a fear of failing. I get paralyzed at times when trying something new. For example, I was scared as hell when I started this journey. I remember being at the seminar being extremely nervous. My anxiety was on 💯. I knew I was going to fail. I almost convinced myself to get up and walk out. The fear of failure was saying Tristan you will failing. But this time I was like fuck that and let's TRY.

This TRY lead to me winning. Yes I still have a fear of failing but I have the confidence now to TRY. 

#Food4Thought

MANIFEST your goals.

Don't be afraid to fail when you can get up and try again.

Love YOURSELF despite your flaws, failures, fears, and etc.

DSYV...Don't Silence Your Voice

Don't ever allow someone or something make you silence your voice. What you have to say matters.

I say this because there are plenty of times we tell people what our goals are they might say something negative about it. However we must distinguish what is constructive criticism and what is hate. Since many people will disguise hate as constructive criticism. STAY AWAY from these type of people. 

I had a person to do this to me and will admit it fucked me up. I made me want to stop writing this blog and other projects I was working on. I became over critical of myself. Feeling overwhelmed, I reached out to one of my friends to vent and she gave me some of best advice ever. 

DON'T EVER LET A PERSON MAKE YOU SILENCE YOUR VOICE.

She was 1914% correct. (You see what I did there. A few will get it. 😁). And I started back writing. I started back my inspirational journey. I fought my self doubt and insecurities and set boundaries. And I won. I vowed never be SILENCED again. Speak my TRUTH to help others. 

So to YOU.... 

DON'T EVER LET SOMEONE OR SOMETHING MAKE YOU SILENCE YOUR VOICE

You never know who needs the words you want to say....

#Food4Thought 

As before MANIFEST, take it one day at a time, and love you for being you. 

Can I talk to you?

Talk to you 'bout something new?

(I know we) tend to look the same to you

(Can I) talk to you 'bout something new?

How does one get on with you?

(Can I) talk to you 'bout something new?

(I know we) tend to look the same to you

(Can I) talk to you 'bout something new?

(How does one?) how does one get on with you?

Brent Faiyaz - Talk 2 U 

Fuel

As you know I love cologne. I just love the reactions I get when someone smells my scent trails. Love getting compliments it boosts my ego. My collection includes brands Gucci, YSL, Lacoste, Armaf, Dolce and Gabbana, Prada, Dior and etc. However that is one I need to get Dior Fahrenheit... It smells very good. A great classic scent that actually has a hint of gasoline in it. Yes ɢᴀsᴏʟɪɴᴇ ⛽....it a strange scent combination that actually smells very good.  This cologne supposed to remind people of the a race track.

Vroom Vroom...🏎️🏎️🏎️

Knowing that this cologne has a gasoline scent profile made me think, Tristan, what fuels you? That is very easy. My FAILURES are my gasoline. Let me explain..

Prior to this success, I tried various diets, workout plans, cooking methods, etc. to lose weight. It got to the point where I felt that I would forever be morbidly obese. DESPAIR started to set in. Being scared to sleep not knowing if I would wake up in the morning.... This was a dark sad place. A void of darkness filled with depression, insecurities, pain, confusion, fail relationships, just existing....

So when I started this program and saw some SUCCESS I finally had something to be motivated about. I started thinking about those past hurts and insecurities as fuel ⛽ during my journey. I didn't want to back to DESPAIR ..... Every pound I loss I also loss some the pain and insecurities I had within and had about myself.  My confidence began to slowly come back. Which made me push even harder.

I made a deal with myself for every twenty pounds I loss I could buy myself three bottles of cologne. This added more fuel to the fire to conquer my FAILURES with dieting. I tasted some success and I wanted more. I wanted to be HAPPY, CONFIDENT & BEING ABLE TO LOVE TRISTAN AGAIN 😀😀😀

Now I want you to use your failures to fuel your success. Use those failures to get focused on your goals. Keep PUSHING. Don't stop. Understand to take it #OneDayAtATime

#Food4Thought

Manifest

Manifest

Manifest

You are good enough even when you don't feel like you are....#RememberThat

#MyLastFatHomeComing

Now there's nothing left

(You messed up a good, a good thing)

So there's no coming home

Girl, remember my face

(For sure, for sure, for sure)

While you're out there on your own

I can't tell where your heart is

(It's nowhere, it's nowhere to be found)

It's not there no more

See I don't need you

And I don't want to want you

If you step out the door

I won't wait up for you (Wait up)

Brent Faiyaz - Running on E. 

Enemy Polo

Captain is still, catch a wave, roll us (splish)

Take a shot, make a friend, just enjoy the moment

I'm Luke Skywalkin' on these haters (splish)

Celebrate every day like a birthday

Good things come to those that wait up (splish)

But don't wait to jump in too long

Don't sleep, you gotta stay up (splish)

Don't, don't sleep, you gotta stay up

Miguel - Sky Walker

Polo shirts were my enemy....😂😂😂.  I wasn't confident wearing them due to my man boobs and belly.  The irony of this is that I actually love polos. I know. I knows. It sounds like a toxic relationship you would see playing out on Facebook.

Sidenote: Those toxic Facebook relationships are very entertaining at times. It is like watching a soap opera....Ok petty moment over...

Guess what, I recently purchased a few of them...👀👀👀  Yes, the belly got smaller and the man are down a couple of cups 😭😭😭. (My chest is coming in slowly but surely...sigh 😟). Also my confidence is at a all time high. I have been practicing my manifest exercises and clearing my mind of self downing thoughts... Now back the polos. For the 4th of July, I drove to my hometown to stay for a couple of days . The 4th was on a Sunday so you know what that means.... CHURCH. Your boy had on a Navy blue Polo by Polo and some Polo Slacks. Now for the best part.... the Polo shirt was tucked in....😉 #TuckedInStatus on deck my ninja....🥷🏾

The moral of my story....defeat your enemy. You can defeat your insecurities. Your doubts. Your low self esteem. Your set backs. Your overthinking. Your.... Keep pushing. Don't stop. MANIFEST your happiness. Make your enemy your polo and look good wearing it. Don't allow a setback to be your reason to stop. In chess sometimes you must go backwards to project further than before.

You got this....One day at a time. Make the impossible possible

#MyLastFatHomecoming

#Food4Thought

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

Manifest...

Lately you might have seen this word floating around on social media or over heard a conversation which it was mentioned. Let's into the word manifest....it's definition: 

1 : readily perceived by the senses and especially by the sense of sight 

2 : easily understood or recognized by the mind 

So it seems that if you think it, it will come to fruition. Guess what, it works. I encourage you to change your mindset to start thinking positive about yourself and watch how your goals will be accomplished.  

Starting today, right now....MANIFEST  your goals. Your dreams, your career, your relationships....MANIFEST them. Keep working towards your goals and keep your mind clear of negative thoughts about yourself. Just remember you got this... MANIFEST your SUCCESS.

#Food4Thought

Start your morning by saying what you are grateful for. No matter how big or small. Give yourself 5 minutes to say what you are grateful for and MANTIFEST your goals. If you have a vision board or list, review it. Anytime a negative thought come into your mind change your mindset to concentrate on things you grateful for. Your mindset will begin to change for the positive. You got this...

One day at a time time...

Brent Faiyaz - Skyline 

Do you know what makes this world go 'round?

Around

Do you know what makes this world go 'round?

Around

Think it through

What it means to you

And everything you do...

Big Men Fashion 🙄

Oh My Momma (Momma)

On My Hood (Hood)

I Look Fly (Yeah)

I Look Good (Good)

Touch My Swag (Swag)

Wish You Could (Could)

I Look Fly (Yeah)

I Look Good (Good)

I Look Good (Good!)

Charlie Boy - I look good 

This is easier said then done when you are big guy. The fashion scene for big men is terrible at best. This entry will be fun but very truthful about big men fashion. 

Finding clothes for big men that actually looks good can be like finding that needle in a hay stack. I was so tired of seeing those shirts that professional bowlers would wear being advertise to big men. First let me give you my definition of a big man.  Any man who wears 5xl or larger is a big man. Anything past 4xl is entering the bowler shirt territory.  🎳  So finding a good "fit" for a big man can be difficult. 

This difficulty of finding clothes that stylish for me has deceased since the weight loss. The prices of clothes has deceased as well which means more money for cologne. (Which is another topic 😂😂😂). Plethora of colors I can choose from now. Because prior to the weight loss the only colors available were blues, grays and reds....😱😱😱. Terrible just terrible....😂😂😂 

 So now I am getting my Big Pretty Boy swag on. This actually caused me to get more motivated. I want to buy more clothes. It makes want to lose more and keep the weight down. I feel more confident in my clothes now. Confidence in knowing I'm looking good. 

#FoodForThought

Your mind is a powerful tool. Start thinking positive thoughts about yourself. Manifest your winning season. Take everyday one day at a time. Be a better person than you were yesterday. 

Thank you for tuning in.... #MyLastFatHomecoming

What's nor·mal...

nor·mal

/ˈnôrməl/

adjective

1.

conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

noun

1.

the usual, average, or typical state or condition.

After years of feeling trapped inside of myself...I am finally feeling NORMAL. But what is normal for me? Being able to walk long distances. This is something that many take for granted but for me it is a new way of life. I enjoy just walking around without having to worry if my back and legs hurting. In addition low stamina. Just being able to walk around as a NORMAL person is something I thought I could never do again. (Now if I can was down the street being Black man not being harassed due to my skin color is another story.)  Wearing clothes off the rack, sitting in booths in restaurants,  having sex while performing different positions, and etc are all things gained back to make me feel normal.  But......why do I see myself as Abnormal. Why the reflection in the mirror is not the same image I see in my mind? 🤔

Could this be body dysmorphia? I think so. This is normal for those who lose alot of weight  since our minds revert back to when we were a larger size. So in a sense, we can't view ourselves as NORMAL. 

Weight loss isn't just physical lost of fat but also mental. We got to lose the mental weight we have build up over time. For me, the feeling of not being normal nor good enough are the mental pounds I'm still working on. This feeling was started as a child. Due to my size and also a strict upbringing when it came to education. If a made an B on a test my mother would tell me Son that is good but we both know you could have made an A. Which she was correct however I was young and instead of talking her about it I allowed those feelings to turn into thoughts that I wasn't good enough. This good enough  is a fight I am still battling today. This is not a sap story about my childhood because I had a great one. My parents just pushed because they knew I was not applying myself like I should have. This will be explain more in an another entry working on. S not matter how  cutting back on carbs, fats, sugars, and etc will not make these mental pounds shrink. It's take self reflection. Being totally honest with yourself and embrace your faults. Everyday I try to learn something new about me and reinsure myself that I am good enough.

Just remember being NORMAL is a state of mind. Yes you are going have days when don't feel NORMAL. However don't allow those mental pounds weigh you down. Don't allow anyone or anything make you feel that you are not good enough.  Take it from me, this is very hurtful to one's self-esteem to allow something or someone make you feel that aren't good enough. Because at the end of the day, their opinion doesn't matter. Don't let it destroy you. Learn to be abnormally normal. I'm focusing on being the best Tristan that I can be. If a person doesn't like me the abnormally normal me they can kick rocks.

Remember to protect your peace. Take it one day at a time.  And most important if all YOU CAN DO IT.

Until next time.... #MyLastFatHomecoming

Brent Faiyaz - Clouded

I gave it all for a fantasy

Is anybody gon' remember me?

If I go tonight, I doubt the world would change

I just pray they don't forget my name

Is it game rules? I can't lose

When it's all said and done, will I still be cool?

Press Play 2021...

First, I want to tell everyone Happy New Year. I have thought if a new concept for this blog. It wikk still focus on my weight loss but I also will should the duality of this process. The good and bad. I will do this like an old cassette tape. Each blog will have an A & B side. I feel this would allow me to be more open. I will give you a blog each week. I am not going to let you down. I would like new feed back in the comments from you. I want to hear about you success as well. It can about any thing. We are going to support each other. I just wanted to thank you for the support and let's make this a big a year for us...